Carlos Doesn't Remember

Capitalization - every student has equal rights and opportunities for education, and therefore they have equal opportunities to success in the society. However, as described in the podcast episode, the reality is that only a selected few with extreme talents are able to reach that opportunity - especially amongst the poor ones - to enter the elite schools and get higher education with better quality. 

Not everyone has equal rights.

This cold reality, however, not only sets place in the United States but all around the globe. In cases of Korea, a few prestigious private schools have advanced courses available for their students. KMLA is one of them, including other foreign language schools, international schools, and science-specified schools that all fit into the category. The registration fees are extremely expensive - quite unimaginable for many - and only the 'selected' has the chance. Not only in the cases of private schools but also private tutoring, a prevalent phenomenon in Korea, also contributes to the problem. The underlying principle is that those who take more of these expensive lessons are more likely to get better grades, and therefore enter better universities.

Kids like Carlos exist. They are a typical example of '개천에서 용 났다', or rags to riches. Overcoming poverty with their extreme talent and effort. Yet, like Carlos who wore sneakers that were 3 sizes bigger than his own feet, they need ERIC - a strong, socially influential advocate. Even with an advocate like Eric, Carlos still is highly stressed because of his poor background. Indeed, he has selective memory - he doesn't remember the moments which he has been embarrassed by his social class, including the case of the sneakers. Students like Carlos living in Korea may experience harsher moments as they realize the social gap: when they face reality, when the other kids realize their social environment, and when these kids start making fun of these situations. As a student of KMLA, all are expected to have a somewhat high degree of living and higher income compared to others. 

Living in a perfect family, in a big apartment, full of things you have always desired. I might be considered one of those 'perfect' kids - except that there is a difference. Our family doesn't have a stable income. I still am located in a higher social hierarchy compared to many others, who are unaffordable to buy food, clothes, or pay for prestigious schools like KMLA. Yet, there has always been a difference, like a river that can't be crossed between my peers and I. Most of my friends have a stable financial situation, often having a father who is a doctor, a lawyer, an entrepreneur, or any other occupation you can think of as wealthy. They have financial restraints just like I do, regardless of being an international student. Might only be a personal inferiority complex, but I have to search for scholarships or financial aids, have endless quarrels with my mother who has always tried her best to provide all that I would possibly need. Such little disputes made me blame everything on myself, leading into self hatred.

My low self-esteem has once made it hard to socialize or associate with my peers, making me that emo kid immersed with my own negative thoughts. I had gone through improvements, which made me serve as equally as others, but still there is that time when I get extremely melancholy and just want to escape from the reality. My example may not be the exact case of Carlos or others with similar situations, but one thing that I can daresay is that who every the student may be, whatever personality he/she has, he/she will have that moment of extreme stress and depression, as a student living in Korea.